Whinging & Whining

so here is a topic that is like complaining but better!! haha! its where you get to express your fustrations and annoyances without being judged and feeling so small like your insignificant.
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my whinge for the week is that my frucking sister gets out of doing chores for the next 3 wks due to the fact that she is behind on uni work n its all because of this stupid unknow cause of numbness she's been getting. now as well as cleaning a school (but being paid) and cleaning my house, being reminded about my suicide ideaiation by my mum and lack of committment to things, i have no energy what so ever and just want to run away and live somewhere else.

god i carnt wait for karate tonite, lots of chopping and killing n elbowing stuff. ohh knuckling stuff.

OMG... Kurt (the guy that slept with me and is now trying to seduce my sister) amd I decided to be friends the other day to avoid some of the icky tension left by the fact that he wants to be with my sister. That I don't have a problem with right... ok well he agreed to some very strong and serious conditions to my friendship right... well he's abiding by them to the letter but my sister is flirting like mad and touching him and driving the poor sod crazy and undermining him at every turn. I don't know how to deal with this because although I have come to terms with how I feel about him and the situation, Tiffany is making life in general very hard for him.

I feel kinda sorry for him really cause once Tiff has her mind set on something then generally speaking she gets it, so I just don't want to stand by and watch them slide into disaster. My problem is trying to help them to see what is really going on and not to sound like a lover scorned. I dunno... help!!!!

smack the crap outta ya sister n tell her to pull her head in god the poor guy. if hes doing the right thing with the rules of the friendship thingo and ur sister is making life hell for u n him christ...my sister did that i disown her but luckly we have diffo taste in men. for example i'm into rangas and shes not i like blokes a little taller than me etc etc. god emz sounds like u n kurt should just meet up in a public place or something i dunno

im extremely sore and friday nite (31/10/09) i spent 5hrs in hospital again with abdo pain which we now know is caused by my appendix! get this right, friday nites at the Lyall Macewin is called forensic friday coz thats when the cops bring in all the deros (losers,druggies whaterver) so the cops bort in 4 deros that had beat the crap out each other with baseball bats and they get prioroty! Gah URgh hullo what if i ive got internal bleeding...worst case senario, these fruckers are taking up critically ill patiant beds coz of their own stupididty. .

so you know i have massive shakes b4 i get to hospt coz my temp is so high. i rocked up there at like 0.30am and it took 2hrs before obs get done. find out that my temp is almost 39 deg, pulse 118bpm when it shld be about 70-80, saturation level 94 (below 90 and oxygen is needed) and heart rate 140/85 or something. NOT GOOD be cause i was shaking so much at home i couldn't get any air so i my lips went blue .

next hospital at 3am: obs are; temp 37.1deg, pulse 78bpm,saturation 98 (heaps better), heart rate 122/70 (the lower the bottom number is the better)

but man the frucking pain is Urgh dunno how to discribe . my stupid dr thought id just sprained or strained my abdo muscles.

I just wanna say a big "GET BETTER SOON" to Rhi!!!!!!!! *hugs*

umm but on me... well me... yes... I have had a really really rough trot the last week or so and it all stems back from Kurt.

Mum has given Tiffany and him permission to date and yeah I'm at a loss as to how that logic can be applied. I cut myself 12 more times day before yesterday. Mum called me a whore and tried to tell me that I still loved him and that I should eat some concrete and harden up cause I couldn't stop them dating. Man. I just don't know how to cope with this. It's doing my head in. I'm so tired, I haven't been sleeping properly because I am angry all of the time. I thought by now that this would get easier but it just seems to be getting harder to deal with. I really don't want to sound like a whingy whiny horrible person but under any other circumstances I would be coping.

On the upside it gave inspiration to start a new painting so now that it is finished I will post some piccies asap. I love it. I am so happy with it.

I think I might go and have a nap now cause I am exhausted... but in the words of Schwarzenegger... "I'll be back"